My Trip to the German Embasy
was absolutely useless.
Tell us about what you did there?
First of all, it was an enormous waste of time. All I did was sit in a room (about the size of my apartment) and wait. Seriously, the “peak of action” was when I walked in, and then again the 5 seconds I spent walking out.
Why did you have to go?
Well, it’s all actually quite simple. If you want to get a visa to Germany, you have to make sure the people giving you the visa see you face-to-face (which is not a requirement for all EU nations). So, I had to go there to “talk” to them and let them know I’m not going to Germany to become a male prostitute.
So, what exactly did you do?
I waited.
What for?
Well, the lady. I waited for the lady. Fuck, I spent about 2 hours waiting for a lady. She had to talk (individually, for quite some time) to every single person who wanted to get a visa.
Was she hot?
No, she definitely wasn’t.
Continue with your story, please.
Right. Where was I?
You were talking about the lady who was talking to everyone.
Right. So, she was talking to everyone. Then, when it came to the three of us…
Three of you?
… Yes, there were three of us (smiles): me, and two of my classmates, they will be going with me to Model United Nations.
Impressive.
No, not really.
Continue, please.
Right. So, when our turn came, we came up to the window. She didn’t even talk to us, she talked to our “representative” who did all the talking for us. Quite a pleasant man, actually.
So you went there for this “interview” and you didn’t even talk?
Yup. Pathetic waste of time, isn’t it?
Indeed. Anything else you want to tell us?
No, not really. I’m actually quite bored right now, and your questions aren’t making it any better.
Cunt (I thought). Tell us the most memerable quote from the event. (that’s what I said).
ME: Shit, this was a waste of time.
Friend: That’s true.
Friend2: This is bullshit. When the Germans invaded Ukraine, they didn’t have to wait so long for a fucking visa: they just stomped right in.
This made me laugh (smiles openly).
Thank you for your time.
Fuck your “thank you”, gimme some money.
I don’t have any.
Then get the fuck out of here before I whoop your ass. You’ll be lucky if you get to post this on your stupid blog.
I ran off. As I walked from the room to the kitchen (to get some juice) I could hear the distant screaming of the guy, he was rather displeased with our brief conversation.
Interview of Anton Bykov conducted by Anton Bykov.
27.05.2010
