Seriously, proof-read!

Poof-reading is a Dying Art!
>
>
>
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
> This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the
> Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three
> readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was
> impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day.
>
>
>
> I just couldn’t help but send this along. Too funny.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
>       Really? Ya think?
> ———————————————————————————————————
> ———
>
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
>        Now that’s taking things a bit far!
>
>   —————————————————————————————-
> Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
>        What a guy!
> ———————————————————————————————-
>
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
>  No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so’s!
> ———————————————————————————
>
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
> See if that works any better than a fair trial!
>   —————————————————————————————
>
War Dims Hope for Peace
>  I can see where it might have that effect!
>  ————————————————————————————————
>
>  If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
>    Ya think?!
> ———————————————————————————————————
> -
>
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
>       Who would have thought!
>  ————————————————————————————————
>
> Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
> They may be on to something!
> ———————————————————————————————————
> —
>
> Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
>       You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?
>   —————————————————————————————
>
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
>      He probably IS the battery charge!
> ———————————————————————
>
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
> Weren’t they fat enough?!
> ———————————————————————-
>
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
> That’s what he gets for eating those beans!
>  ———————— ————————————————-
>
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
>        Do they taste like chicken?
> ****************************************
>
>  Local  High School Dropouts Cut in Half
>        Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
>  ***************************************************
>
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
>        Boy, are they tall!
>  *******************************************
>
> And the winner is…….


Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
>
>      Did I read that right?
> ***************************************************